So here we are. For those who are new to this blog, my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer in February of this year. Holy hell. She has been writing this blog in an effort to keep all those that she loves current on her status, and as a diary/ journal for Bridget, my dad and myself. It’s a way for her to process this very real, very sudden diagnosis that she has been handed. 13 years ago, when I was in 8th grade, my mom was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer. She lost all of her hair, was painfully thin, tired, anemic, — sick. I resented her at the time for this. I remember after she was in remission, I told her that I blamed her for all of the difficulties I experienced at that age. WTF was wrong with me?? Now I am able to reflect back and realize how foolish, yet how real and scary that was for me. Now, I am a 25-year-old RN with a mother with a terminal illness and a crap prognosis. I am scared to death. This time however, my anger is not directed at my mother, but at the disease. She has done everything she possibly could to remain healthy. Unfortunately for my mom and us, the pink robots came back. “She knows that it’d be tragic if those evil robots win.” My mom doesn’t look like the frail, sickly woman she did when I was younger. She looks like my mom, acts like my mom, and gives me shit, just like my mom. I’m still able to share a glass of wine with her and bitch about my life, share with her my joys, and genuinely just be in the moment and be her daughter. Do I think about the inevitable? Of course, who doesn’t? But do I let it swallow me whole while living the last years I have with my mother? Never. She is more to me than anyone can even imagine. I am so grateful to be hers. So for all those who love my mom and support her, keep by her. She will be there for you when you need it most. So cheers to us all for knowing a genuine hero. We are more than blessed just to have met her, let alone become part of her. This is my song for my mom. I love you more than you will ever really know.
Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots—The Flaming Lips
This one is just from me 😉