Both Sides Now

In honor of my bestie, Stephen, who lost his father Arnold and had quintuple bypass surgery last week, I am going to let him be the guest blogger this week.

Stephen, we love you.

“So many questions and so little time. Do you think that it was a blessing or curse knowing that you likely had 26 months? In other words, that life is finite. Knowing it (and defying the numbers), has life been happier or sadder? Other than a very horrible 45 days as your organs started dying, did you live life differently? You went to Iceland. You went to Aruba-so what you showed up a few months after Elizabeth’s wedding? You went to Big Sur. You went to Howlin at the Moon and Splittsville and Gillette Stadium. You met the Governor of Massachusetts Charlie Baker-he showed up at Booty By Brabants for the battle at Seaport on 36 hours notice. You have written an amazing blog for your children but it has to be published for the world. You beat the odds and can offer others battling AND their parents some HOPE. You discovered what METAvivor DOES and what the pink charity doesn’t do. You learned that a $50 million annual salary for Roger Goodell and a private plane for life comes at the price of him and the team owners losing all dignity, charging tens of millions to honor pink October and charging the Department of Defense tens of millions to showcase a halftime military hero. You have seen other sadness’s with the wonderful DJ Henry Dream Fund. Not sure about you, but I don’t want to change what I have for something worse that others have. You got more excitement from Kelsey’s engagement than I think you would have otherwise. Every day is a gift-that is why they call it the present. BUT in my opinion, you have done more for the world and have enjoyed life with more excitement than most, BECAUSE YOU KNEW when you would die-or so you thought. Is knowing when you would likely die in some way made you the luckiest person on the face of the earth? Or do you want to be the person on either side who dies in a tragic accident or worse, answers the doorbell at 2 am to find out their loved one died a horrific accident and YOU didn’t get the last chance to tell them YOU LOVED THEM. You might not understand but WE ALL LOVE YOU Barbara Bigelow and ironically more because we saw how you dealt with it with class and dignity. “Cancer doesn’t beat you when you die, you beat it by how you live….” You know the Stuart Scott ESPY speech-it will just make me cry.”

I am one of the luckiest people in the world because of the people in it. I’ve seen both sides now. It’s not about how long you live, it’s about how you live and the love you give.