I’m Just A Girl

Yikes its been awhile but I’ve been pretty busy living life to the fullest. I have been trying to accomplish so much these last few months. First there was the closing out of the school year that is always a process that seems both fast and slow. So many goodbyes and celebrations, students jumping toward their futures while you clean up the detritus left behind and close the books and shut down the computers. The cycle never ends.

Tim Blanket kids me sometimes about having PTSD which means I have to repeatedly process my hospital experiences last year to make some sense out it when really, there is very little sense to be found in it. The cycle plays out over and over again in my head.

We’ve spent some time near water recently. The tides come in and out without fail, whether we want it to or not, the cycle repeats ever 12 hours.

All of this has got me thinking about my life cycle. Having a terminal illness has made me examine things and I truly live in the present because time is so finite to me. I have to make the most of each moment because it may not come my way again. I find this works best for me in my relations with others too. Those who love me most, stop what they are doing to be with me because they understand too that their time with me is limited. If they don’t understand that, it can be painful. There is no time to waste–time cannot be given back.

It has also given me the time to ponder how and why I live the way I do and what works. So here is my secret philosophy of how to do it:

• Lean into it
• be compassionate
• love openly and with abandon
• be generous
• have a sense of humor and laugh often
• always get the lobster roll
• make work a part of play
• live in joy
• show up
• be present

That’s it—-the whole enchilada!

Tim knows this intuitively. He didn’t have to spend 64 years figuring out. The kindest and truest compliment was paid him recently by our brother-in-law, Henry who said:

“You are the best of the best and a friend to all. How I wish I could end each day with a glass of scotch and my all time favorite brother in law who realizes and cherishes the spirit of now. Truly, Tim, Nobody enjoys the exact moment like you. Never lose that enthusiasm. For all of Tim’s friends, “….live in the moment. Where would you rather be than right here and right now with Barb and Tim! May you enjoy many more birthdays in the spirit of brother Sandy, your amazing sister and my wonderful wife, Cathy. Your Mom and Dad, Awesome Alice and Tom Terrific are at your side each day! You are the modern day version of Will Rogers. You never met a person you didn’t like. Always remain a champion for the common good!”

Let’s all love each other, be present, take time and lean into it. What do I know? I’m just a girl.